The Best Wedding Readings for Alternative, Non-Traditional Couples

Look, you're not the kind of couple who wants to snooze through your own wedding listening to the same old readings about starlight and never-ending love loops, are you? Nah, you want something that’ll make your Aunt Edna spit out her champagne because she wasn’t ready for a dose of real talk or a side of sci-fi with her wedding cake. So if traditional has you twitching and you’re on the hunt for readings that are as wonderfully weird and one-of-a-kind as you and your other half (or thirds, no judgement here!), then you, my friend, have just hit the jackpot. Buckle up, buttercup, because we're diving headfirst into the whimsical world of alternative wedding readings. Film scripts, rock ballads, comic book excerpts - who knows what literary treasures we'll unearth for your non-cookie-cutter "I do's"?

Where do you source alternative wedding readings?

So, you’ve decided to ditch the traditional rulebook and craft a wedding that’s as unique as a unicorn riding a unicycle. Good for you! Let’s talk sources for those readings that’ll have your guests laughing, crying, and everything in between.

First up, Science – because nothing says "eternal" like the laws of physics, right? Imagine a love that's as constant as the speed of light, or a partnership that’s more reliable than the theory of relativity. Plus, it's a stellar way to confirm that your love is, in fact, rocket science.

Rolling onto Film. Ever thought about including that monologue from the indie flick that had you both sobbing into your popcorn? Or what about those epic one-liners from superhero movies that could double as vows? "I love you 3000" – come on, that’s gold!

Religion doesn't have to mean traditional. There are plenty of texts from various beliefs that speak to love and partnership without making you feel like you're at Sunday school.

And who could brush off the idea of Music? Lyrics can be pure poetry, and there’s a high chance there’s a song out there that feels like it was written just for you two. Have a song that’s ‘your song’? Why not use those lyrics?

Let’s not forget the classic – Literature. How about swapping Elizabeth Barrett Browning for some Neil Gaiman or quoting the passionate musings of Jane Austen's characters with a twist?

Oh, and Personal Vows. Get your creative cap on and spill that love ink onto paper. Whether it’s sweet anecdotes or inside jokes, they're guaranteed to be a hit because nothing’s more genuine than words that come straight from the heart.

But, if you're thinking, "Great, but how do I string all this together without sounding like a hot mess?" That's where a celebrant comes in. Independent humanist celebrants are like the party planners of your wedding ceremony, ensuring your love story is told just the way you want it, with all the flair and none of the snoring.

So get digging, get creative, and remember, if at the end of the day your readings make sense to you, well then, you’ve nailed it!

Alternative wedding readings for the geeks and the science lovers

Hey there, science enthusiasts and lovebirds! Fancy mixing a dash of intellect with your wedding vows? Let me tell you, nothing screams "modern couple" like throwing in a science quote amidst the 'I dos'. It's like saying, "Our love is as vast as the universe and as enduring as the laws of physics!" Catchy, right?

Take, for example, the timeless words of good ol' Albert Einstein: "You can’t blame gravity for falling in love." Now, if that doesn’t make Aunt Edna chuckle into her corsage, I’ll eat my lab coat. It’s the perfect blend of cheeky and nerdy – ideal for those who fancy themselves a bit of a Sheldon and Amy combo.

But, I hear you, "What if our guests don't know their photons from their protons?" Fear not! That's where your friendly neighbourhood celebrant waves their magic wand (or, you know, uses their expertise) to make these quotes accessible, relatable, and a spot-on reflection of your unique bond. Plus, it’s a great way to nod to your passion for science without turning your big day into a lecture – we're aiming for tears of joy, not yawns of despair, after all.

So, go for it! Let the universe be your scriptwriter and create a ceremony that's as unique as a newly discovered galaxy.

Non-traditional wedding readings from film

Alright, picture this: you're standing at the altar, your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy – no, wait, that's an Eminem song, sorry! What I'm trying to say is: it's your wedding day, and you want to kick tradition to the curb and bring on the laughs and the "awws" at the same time. Why not borrow a page from Ted Mosby's book? You know, from How I Met Your Mother, the Architect of Romance himself?

Remember that episode when Ted gave that killer speech at a wedding? He goes, "Love is the best thing we do", and just like that, he turned a room full of cynics into hopeless romantics. It's short, sweet, and it has enough gooey goodness to make your heart feel like it's being hugged by a smiling puppy. It's a stellar example of how film and TV can offer up some sparkling gems for your non-traditional wedding readings.

So, what's stopping you from giving Aunt Edna something new to talk about besides your second cousin's questionable dance moves? Dive into your favourite film quotes, snag a line or two that makes your heart throb, and infuse your ceremony with it! This is your blockbuster moment. Roll the credits on clichés and make your "I do" moment as epic as a Hollywood ending. And hey, if you can quote a movie in a wedding speech and not have it end up like a car crash in slow motion, then you, my friend, are the real MVP.

Rock Your Wedding Vows with Alternative Music Lyrics

So you're not the type that gets weak in the knees over sonnets, nor do you fancy reciting promises that sound like they've been lifted from a Shakespearean play where everyone ends up a bit, well, dead. No, you're after something that says 'us' in a language that’s a bit more... electric guitar than harp, aren't you?

How about exchanging vows that will make your hearts beat to the rhythm of a drum solo? Imagine this: you look into the eyes of your life's co-headliner and say, “Every day is a winding road, I get a little bit closer to feeling fine,” borrowing the wise words of Sheryl Crow. Or maybe you're fans of the classics, and The Beatles had it right all along with “All you need is love, love, love is all you need”—simple, punchy, and straight to the vibrant core of it all.

You know those lyrics that have been the backtrack to your car karaoke sessions, the ones that are scribbled in the margins of your old school notebooks? Those words have stuck with you through thick and thin, mosh pits and slow dances, so why not let them be the narrators of your epic love story? Plus, throwing in a line from The Clash or The Smiths could catch the stiff-upper-lip types off guard—seeing Uncle Bob's expression when you declare “There is a light that never goes out” would be as memorable as the first time you heard that guitar riff.

Get Lit(erary) with Your Wedding Readings!

Alright, grab your reading glasses (or don’t, because who are we kidding, we all just pretend to read Tolstoy), and let’s talk about spicing up your I-dos with a pinch of bookish charm. If the thought of traditional vows makes you want to run faster than a typo scampering out of a grammar nazi’s social media post, then have I got some quirky literary extracts for you!

Picture this: you’re standing there, your partner’s looking like a snack (whoops, supposed to be keeping it literary), and you're about to knock everyone's socks off with a reading so delightful, it’d make Oscar Wilde chuckle in his grave. Imagine dropping a line from Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and declaring that together you’ll be “mostly harmless” – come on, that’s gold!

Or let's get whimsical with a hint of Harry Potter. Because, who wouldn’t want a love as strong as the unbreakable vow? (That one worked out okay, right?) And for the couple who’s read every page of every book, why not a lovely weirdness from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland? Saying “we're all mad here” with a wink might just be the candid snapshot that lands in the frame on the mantlepiece. It’s all about finding those one-liners from Kurt Vonnegut or quips from Terry Pratchett that resonate with your distinct brand of romance – the kind that's less knight-on-white-horse and more shared-E-book-library.

Comic Book Quotes for Your Wedding Day

So, you want to tell the world (and your significant other) that your love is as epic as the battles in Gotham City—without, you know, the skintight suits and the pesky villains. Why not turn the page to some comic book splendor for your wedding readings? Trust me; it’s not as nerdy as it sounds (okay, maybe just the right amount of nerdy).

Imagine this: you’re there at the altar, and in your best superhero pose (cape optional), you gaze into the eyes of your Lois Lane or Peter Parker and hit them with, “You have made me the happiest victor in all the multiverse,” à la Doctor Strange. A bit of Marvel magic never hurt nobody. And, oh, the gasps you'll hear when you whisper, “In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight,” Worm your way into their heart with some wisdom from Green Lantern!

And for those of you tying the knot, who want to laugh along the way, quip a Deadpool-esque “Your crazy matches my crazy, big time,” and you'll have them thinking love’s not only about grand gestures but also about sharing a large pizza and making silly faces across the room.

Personal Wedding Vows That Would Make Cupid Quit

Has the idea of repeating age-old phrases that probably didn't even make sense in the Middle Ages got you yawning?

Enter the almighty celebrant, a magical creature who's here not just to ask if anyone objects (I mean, really, who does that?) but to weave your unique love story into something that’ll have your guests grinning rather than grimacing.

With celebrants, it's like having a love whisperer who takes those little things – you know, how you obsessively line up your takeaway sauces or how he's got a full-blown emotional relationship with his fantasy football team – and turns them into promises that hit right in the feels. It’s a bit like that perfect pair of Dunks or that little black dress: it fits just you.

So, how about vowing to always laugh at each other's terrible puns or promising to support each other's dreams, even if it's a dream about quitting your day job to start an alpaca farm? Trust me, folks, it beats the standard “in sickness and in health” – because let's face it, anyone who's seen you with the flu knows that ship has sailed.

Get ready to say “I do” in a way that feels more 2023 than 1523. It's personal, it’s got pizzazz, and well, it’s got you written all over it.

Alright lovebirds and soon-to-be-wedded warriors of whimsy, we've danced through the digital confetti and arrived at the tail end of our little natter about nuptials. If the thought of cookie-cuttering your "I dos" is about as appealing to you as a toothache, remember: your wedding vows are the heart and soul tattoos of your big day – make them as you as humanly possible.

So, get out there and scribble down those vows that'll make every fibre of your being buzz with a sense of "f**k yeah, that's us!" Cheers to the wedding vows that are as memorable as that one time you tried to DIY a haircut (we all did in lockdown, right?). And if you're looking for professional help, give the Humanists, or my featured celebrant - Kickass Gatherings - a shout!